Donor not Father

Fabian and his parents are away.  They visited for a bit over two weeks and almost everyone in the commune was happy to have them, especially the crowd at Nashoba where they were a big hit, unlike some of my other guests.


Moments before Fabian left on the train

As  we find with some regularity the English language is weak in describing these unconventional relationships.  i am Fabian’s donor, but what is he to me?  Certainly not my son, and “biological son” is a bit too clinical sounding.  We shall have to craft new words.


Can you see the resemblance?

I also learned some things i did not know of this visit.  Fabian has dyspraxia which gives him trouble with writing and some other motor skills.  I had always assumed that this was a genetically transmitted trait and held guilt about this.  Micha informed me that it was almost certainly induced by the hospital which gave Fabian anti-biotics the day after he was born, without consulting the parents.  This does not reduce my sadness about it, but i dont feel responsible.

We never completed the chess tournament that i started for him, and instead played a bunch of magic together.  Fabians English improved dramatically since his last visit, in part i believe because he is reading all the English magic cards and in part perhaps because Twin Oaks is a very special place for him and he wants to be able to connect here.

Perhaps he can convince his parents to come back from the Netherlands next summer.  By then i will have crafted a better word to describe our relationship.