i have this friend, i’ll call him Morgan, and he lied to me.
This was not one of those little white lies which are rumored to cause no harm. This was a big, ugly lie which resulted in me getting furious with people who were completely innocent of any wrong doing and almost permanently damaging other relationships which were already frayed.
This is a friend who i had helped out in a couple of jams and someone who on more than one occasion had been there for me as well. This is what friends do for each other. And Sara felt like i had been enabling some of Morgan’s bad behavior, i can see this.
When i was getting upset with Morgan during this hard break up yesterday, saying that i did not want to talk with him again and did not want him to ask me for help again, it was physically hurting me. i hate this. And i can’t make it work with someone who is not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes and instead is trying to blame others.
So what is the take away (so i am not just complaining)? i am not exactly sure. Perhaps it is about being more sensitive to relationships becoming imbalanced – where i am giving much more to it than my friend. Perhaps it is about listening to my intimates counsel on the quality of the character of people they are critical of. I am still figuring this out. And still hurting.